BAD NEWS

I cannot believe that I did actually blog in 2008. January, but still, fulfilled that resolution. As the months from January to May, Life: It was good. NO, it was perfect. Not a freaking care in the world beyond what time we were going to the gym, which we did- 3 to4 times a week. Yea! And then... ..here came the proverbial... "OTHER M/F SHOE." (NOT MALE/FEMALE HERE). A classic SNAFU as you shall see. I was at the RCC for my annual MAMO. LADIES get yours every year no matter what. My P.A. mentioned that it had been 5years since my last bone scan. So, we decided to schedule on at HAmot to make sure all was OK. I had had an accident in Las Vegas in October- hurt my back and neck and my legs, thighs were killing me. I kept telling the docs. that it was inner pain-inside my bones. AS it was. The scan came back looking like swiss cheese. The breast cancer had metastisized to the bone. Currently, it was in the right hip and the large legbones. We immediately began chemo. and hoped for the best.Ensuing scans were fantastic. Ntot only had the cells responded but, the hips/back was actually better. I became very sick in May and almost went on dialyasis. My system just rebelled. We made through that after 11 days at Hamot and I was back on the plan. Status quo until I began to have excruciating #10 pain in my back and leg again. Plus tired. Went for a CT and a then an MRI. Results; metatisis to spine and brain. I can tell you the medical shit which, bottom line means the same as English. This is not a favorable situation we are facing here folks. Egad. Any thoughts of brain stuff makes me queassy. I just finished a 10 day round of radiation on my head and back. I feel like someone microwaved my brains. I finally have clearer vision and my right face is less numb (decadron). I am taking anti-nausea pills, Prilosec, Morphine, Percocet and then the routine meds. I don't really know how or what I feel. Of course, you ask "How long?" and they don't want to say. Its a sentence and they don't do that. Par for the course= 2 years. Me probably more-because I can be piss and vinegar when I really put my mind to it. So, wow-this has been a wild month for us. My sleeping patterns are all turned around . Apparently, being on a drug like Decadron will do that. Plus, I can sleep when I'm dead right? Yes.That is right. And for now, I make hay whenever I can. My mother (Gertie, 92) does not know. She would freak and it would be very difficult for her to follow one more thing. Now, my current rant is that my hair, what there is, is falling out. But, I do have great wigs and that is fun- I will post pics. Hey, lemons=lemonade. MORAL for Saturday- Make you a priority at certain times. Especially for your health. Do not take advantage, as I did, for a long time. There is only one you and there are people that would miss you being around.

Yo- I'mmmmmmmmmm Baaaaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkkk

THAT IS MY CAR. 19---64 LE MANS. I Love it. It is about easy life. Brother b/f Vietnam, being a baby... being a baby sister.. the youngest. Now, I have to grow up. Be an Adult. This sucks. :(

New Year Resolution 2007

See New Year Resolution 2006. Except this time, I mean it!!!

Life is "Funny."

Sometimes life is "funny". I am currently not speaking with my only surviving sister. We had another sister. She has passed over now. One would think that, after losing a dear one, there should be a stronger connection, an unbreakable bond that NOTHING and NOONE can destroy. Guess not.

Life is really "funny" during the holidays. As I grow older-not always wiser- I see this is a universal happening, not unique to my family alone.

Arrives Christmas holidays 2006. Mom (89) is lamenting the fact that her grandchildren and great grands take her for granted. By this, she means that they make no effort to keep in touch with her. Her birthdays are forgotten, no cards or calls for Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day or any other day, for that matter. You see Mom is my strength. It is she (and my husband and son) that keeps me from just plain givin' up sometimes. We lunch daily and watch "Y and R" together. We gossip, laugh, cry, bond. The holidays are tough on MOM because we lost Dad a few years ago and that makes holidays bittersweet for her.

This year she was extra melancholy because there was no real Christmas plans. My sister and her husband were jetting to Europe for Thanksgiving and off to Connecticut for Christmas to spend it with thier daughter, her husband, and my neice, her husband and their two toddlers. This was especially difficult for Mom because she would love to see the kids and their parents too! After discussing this situation, almost EVERDAY from Thanksgiving to the few days before Christmas, I decided to take action. Big mistake!!! Herein lies the life is "funny."

One evening, I decide to call Syracuse to speak to Amy about not contacting Grandma and how much it would mean to her to receveive a card or a call. Amy and I do not correspond- she is very busy with her job and the two kids and her husband and the house and her scrapbooking and on and on and on and on- you get the point.

Anyhoo, I realize that I don't even have a phone number or current email address for Amy. I know, I can call Connecticut Carla to get the number for Amy ( they are quite close). Yes, I will call Carla and she will give me the number. Plus, I can wish her Happy Christmas too.

Carla is very surprised to hear from me. We chat a bit and I ask for Amy's ph. no. I briefly explain why I would like the number-she asked first. Great, got the number and had a nice talk with Carla (OR SO I THOUGHT!). I proceed to call Amy. She and her family are out. Leave a message to call when convenient. Meanwhile... here is the life is "funny" moment.... Carla calls Mom (my sister, the world traveler) and tells her why I called; Except that she is crying and feels guilty that she has ruined Grandma's holiday because she has invited the family to Conn. This is not what I said, nor did I imply, in any way.

Now is when the proverbial s*** hits the fan. I get a  call from my sister, the Cobra (her husband's nickname for her), as I am enjoying a cold one or few at our version of Cheers the next evening. Talk about pissed! She ranted. She raved. She reprimanded. whoa, am I 10 years old again? "How dare I call and upset her daughter." "Who do I think you are?" "Too bad if our Mother has an issue." and on and on.... I listen. I try to interject. I try to appologize. Finally, I give up. "You are ruining my buzz and I am going to hang up now" I tell her, as I click end on my cell. Wow that was very liberating. I have never done that before i.e. ended one of her rants by merely pushing "end."

Next day. I decide to say nothing to Mom about this-what good would that do? This is between myself and my sister.

11:00 AM- Phone rings- It's Syracuse calling. She is so happy to hear from me. I tell her that I am calling to say Merry Christmas and to remind her to call Grandma. She explains that Erie is so far to travel with two kids and Conn. is just easier. I say I understand and merely want to remind her that Grandma would love to hear from her. Fine. Mission accomplished.

12:00 PM- Mom arrives for lunch. We begin to eat. She says- ""What's this between you and your sister??" OMG- the Cobra did not. Yup, she did. She ripped Mom a new one that evening after we talked. How dare she lay a guilt trip.... etc. I tell Mom not to worry.

8:00 PM I have more than a few. I call Cobra and tell her that I will never, Ever call Syracuse/Conn. again. Then I hit "END." 

Am I proud? Not at all. I am sad that this whole thing happened. And that is why life is "Funny."

Happy New Year Dammit!

 

 

 

Dandelions

My husband LOVES dandelions. He wonders why they are considered a weed. They are the bane of everyone who lives in the Northeast. I wonder if they are the bane of other homeowners and landscapers in other parts of the U.S.?

DC loves dandelions because they remind him of  his childhood (fond memories.) The "older", neighborhood , Italian gentlemen used to go to a golf course out in the "country" (now think suburbia) to pick chigote (dandelions). THey would pick mounds of fresh, "organic" dandelions with only the best leaves for the recipe. They would then bring home their bounty and the wives and children would clean the dandelions and the cooking would begin. Some people liked the salad with olive oil, salt, pepper, and a bit of vinegar. Other families liked them sauted in olive oil and salt and pepper. However they were prepared, it was not so much the actual recipe and preparation, rather the whole family process of gathering, cleaning, and cooking together. Too bad we have ChemLawn, PerfaLawn, Weed & Feed, and Round Up today. Not only do we destroy the beautiful flowering plants that are a great food source, we have destroyed a family activity that everyone helped to prepare for the meal that they would all share together with crusty bread and a well earned glass of red wine. I am sure that the TV was not on in the background either!

Bathroom Anxiety

Am I the only one in the world with bathroom--toilet flush- anxiety?? Every time that I flush, I am worried that the water will go the wrong way and overflow the room. I even dream about it. It is the craziest thing. Unless you have ever had to actually clean up such an incident---YUCK! It is so gross, especially in the second floor BR!!

DC enters and is reading this as I blog. I tell him that he really should read my journal sometime. He walks out saying no, Baron (my shrink) oughtta!!

Vacation In Arizona

I just returned from Phoenix this week. It is a HUGE city-way too big for my liking! Weather was great and Sedona was awesome (Mtn. pics.) Went to car show and Ernie won 1st place (see pic.) Had a great time, the weather made me feel so much better.  Ernie and Julie were awesome hosts and they are coming to Erie in June. I hope that we can make them feel as comfortable here.