Was I High??

Hey- Can someone out there stop me when I begin to blog slightly off the mark items? My tag on blog was just to illustrate that there are better times to come ahead- Including Spring. Many of my "snow bird" friends and family are coming home this week from Florida! It will be so great to connect with them. The potential buyer is coming for the third time to look at our house tomorrow afternoon. I hope I can stay awake and away from the house until they are done looking at it. The Florida house I love, now includes a Ford Explorer for $4,000. They must be desperate. I will try to link that picture to this blog so I can show family and friends. Pray for money and good circumstances for this gentleman. Have a good Sunday- Think a big, 'ole, fresh, Asparagus quiche is in order.

Good to be, good, Better

I just had a few afterthoughts... No baby yet, Good to come. I celebrated my Science Teacher Earth Day roots by setting up a 2 gallon fancy guppy tank, which I love, Celebrates life, Spring, Birth!! Better: 10 years ago I was at a teen conflict summit at MPS the day of Colombine. Thank-Goodness we have learned and recognized our mistakes after such a tragedy.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!!

Good Morning my wittel chickadees- I am now up to 15 pills a day now come on, This is CRAZY! My, poor, Pooor DC he is going nuts with me! With food, without food,together, separate, it is sooooo confusing. I have abosolutely no brain power left and he just says, with extreme angst: "TAKE THE PILLS". I say but won't those make me ill, don't those cause diarrhea, Don't those make me restless OMG I'm killin' myself with all this whining. I have fallen twice (and can't get up-- waaaa) in the past two days. In the garage on... Air? and a biggie in the living room , down on both knees, yesterday- again on who knows what. I wrote an email to a very capable Lord's Employee yesterday regarding my hopeful golf league. Of course (no pun) I missed the meeting I was writing about. What a mess! Now I know she thinks I'm a total nut case. For some reason, I cannot keep my dates straight lately and it is so maddening! One of the things I need/want to check is the couple having the baby and blogs here. I hope she is done and had a great go of it. I will check and respond. They are so lucky- I wish them all of the best. I am still learning the ins and outs of posting and blogging. I would like to post some pictures of us and that is one of my next goals. Nada too exciting my way- hang in all- I love you and hope all is well. Trixie the girl with brain cancer now.

Metastatic Breast Cancer: The Uglier Beast

Well now this has been a most depressing week and a half around here. I am scared shitless this week. I don't know what to do with my sorry butt. Last week, I was physically run down, weak, sick to my bones (literally). Too tired to care about anything but my next breath. This week seems that it is improving. I am getting physically stronger but now I'm a mental case over where my death clock is set. I was so stupid. In 2003, my initial breast cancer diagnosis, I figured, Bump-in-the-Road. Just get it over and done with. Well, that nasty cancer was going to show me. Now, I'm not really even sure where I do and don't have it. I know it is in my bones, spine, brain (EEEKKKKKKKKK). I know that I am on some nasty oral chemo. that makes me puke... alot. And I hurt and am tired EVERYWHERE.my poor mate he is subject to every little thing I feel and gripe about. I feel mean. I snap at the dog (there's a role-reversal), get impatient with my step son and my mother (chronological ages not equal but psychological... OMG.) She is 93 he is 17. I don't know about either of their sex drives but they sure can hit the agitate button with skill! One of my mom and dad's best friends died this past week. I went to the funeral home with her and had the shakes and felt nauseous. 1) a bit close to home for me: "Casket /pine box, cremation?Would DC wear one of those tiny urns or a ring with some of me in it? AW just toss me around Fox Run GC and be done with it. 2) she, who NEVER cries, was upset about judy. Well, she better get out of denial mode soon because I relly don't know what amount of time I'm looking at. To borrow Mom's phrase: Hey Doc, can I still buy ripe bananas??!! I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone but me. Hell, Im probably the only one that reads this and that's OK. Just let DC know that I had a blog.

New Jewelry Style

I have become enamored with a new metal technique called chain maille or chain mail. It is the basis for the suits of armor made from rings assembled to make mesh and various type of link bracelets, chains etc. Very fancy and quite intricate. I have decided to branch into this area after seeing some very cool designs. One can become quite involved in elaborate patterns and when I learn how to upload pictures and images I will do so to show some techniques. Right now Byzantine stitch or style is my favorite. Physically, I am feeling stronger everyday. I cannot imagine how sick I was a week ago. Now I hear that SARS was going around the area again. Please God let that one miss me! I am hoping to get all of scans and tests from Hamot together today to go to Roswell for a second opinion this week. I think that I was having a reaction to the Decadron and it was keeping me up all night. Last night was my first night to go to bed before morning! My step son was helping me the other night because I was so out of it. I didn't know what end was up! He is a good boy and Is just about ready to take his driver test. Dad and I paid for lessons because it is just too darn mard to work with him one on one. It was the best money spent yet! After polling other teen's parenents we knew we had to do it because it is the best way to accomplish an end to a means or vice versa! Pray for me that Roswell cannot do any more for me than we are doing here at the RCC. And that all is on course as it should be. I'll blog at cha come Friday or Saturday. Hey Pizza Wings- How's Eli's lookin?

The Three Dreaded Letters F-L-U

Saturday morning ( 3/14) I woke up in a complete haze. Thought I was dying (again). DC said you want to crawl out of your skin don't you? I could not agree more. I will spare all of us the details. I got home from Hamot today at 10:30AM. Feeling much better. When they diagnosed my issue as FLU "A" they couldn't get rid of me fast enough!! My Life Saver Doc mix up a big old bag of power vitamins and juiced me up with B12 shots and made me feel like a millionbucks. The good part, from what I could glean was that I broke through the Parade!! ANY pub crawlers PLEASE BE CAREFUL!! Respect the beast. WE HAIL Dr. JOE ALL HAIL!!

Energy Vampire (Scary-But Not Too Scary)

I am sure that some of you are very familiar with this personality type- You would know if you met them or know them.The best way I can describe the interaction is that they approach, plug into you, suck all your life force, feel regenerated, and leave. You, are left either exhausted or very frustrated. I even am now having a get sick at the sound of her voice reflex. We took my son to Prep the other morning, I got up early, showered, changed and was with them at the school when she started the phone calls. Two to my Husband Two to me. I had 3 voicemial from the previous day because I had slept most of the day. I turned on the voicemail. Yes, they were from her. That was it, The fact that I wasn't on my A game did not help but we started to laugh-at first-then ArGH. OK, go home and rest and try Walmart tomorrow. Her grand plan for Tuesday was that since she was off of work (nurse) that day she could just come over and hang out with me. Even if we did nothing. That's great but if you met her it is like CHAOS walks through the door when she lands. I believe her emotional vampire type is to merely suck energy to sustain this turmoil all around her. I have dealt with it when I was stronger, pretty well. Now, I can't get the edge and she is gaining fast. OK Here's the example. My MD. had to get me some nausea pills. He had them at the office. My husband was at the club having a couple well-deserved beers and when I called, I said run over and pick up the pills (its next door). Convenient-no problem. He got the pills, and came home. The next day our friend said that The Vampire struck. Told everyone I am with hospice, this is not good, If they want to see me, they better start making arrangements crying, carrying on. She is a nurse and should be able to help me, etc. I assure you, I am on the mend and back in the ring and she is-getting worse. I need help. Anybody willing to toss some good advice my way, perhaps an amulet or chakra, or crystal, I don't know, send me strength that will help alot. I decided to call her tonight at work because she was supposed to work 3:30PM-3:30AM. She was not there. So I left a vmail and told her I was sorry that I missed her. But I probably shouldn't have said that because I really wasn't. And I lied to her. Of course, she tends to put me in that feeling. I spoke with one of our mutual friends whom I haven't heard from in quite awhile. She said Vamp told her that Vamp and sister were staying here and doing watch and Vamp was getting burned out leaving here to work 3rd shift. I haven't seen Vamp or sister in a month. That scares me. She also told friend not to call because it will distrub me. I was mad at Vamp and told friend she has to ignore her. Friend does not really have intuition on people so she feels something and I'm trying, slowly, to help her see what it is. OK Thanks for letting me rant. Dinner tonight- Early Corned Beef. We love it so much we're doing it again on St. Patrick's Day but making reubens. Or Perhaps Kevin will make reubens for us. LOVE YOU OAKWOOD!!