HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! My new year's resolution is to go to the Hamot Wellness Center at least 3-4 times per week and get buff for my 25th class reunion in July. I wanna be lean, mean, tan and wow 'em!
Can't wait to go to the gym!
1a) I always say "rabbit" on the first day of every month. I try to say it alot actually, "they" say it is good luck.
1b) Apparently, not a good day for the fresh road-kill mommy bunny I saw taking a pavement nap in front of our house the same day. Perhaps she was an abbusive parent and the baby bunnies are the lucky ones. I doubt it.
2a) It is the appropriate thing to do (I keep telling myself.)
2b) It really is not that easy to feed the new pet baby bunnies with an eyedropper. I don't care what the vet told you! Hey, they have teeth too!
3a) Good day to trim hedges. Found the trimmer and extension cords that reach from recepticle to shrub!!
3b) Why does it seem that the trimmer blades are really dull until... they hit the power cord?? WHY?!
4a) While trimming, I see something in the bushes...
4b) For God sakes, how many baby bunnies are there in the standard litter?
See ya, I have to go heat the milk!!
3 June 2005 (10 days since CT)
I won't bore 'us' (I like talking in plural now) with the details. Let's just say "expect the worst and it won't be as bad as 'we' thought." Yep. SURGERY, Again. This time 'we' are doing sinus sugery for: 1. a deviated septum (Did I know that I once broke my nose?? Nope-but I do now!!) 2. chronic sinusitis and cyst formation (Did I know that I had sinus disease? Nope- but ...) 3. A look at that nasty little spot on my voice-box (Do I realize that as a cancer survivor I should quit smoking? YES-I'm not stupid!)
Alrighty then. Summer surgery number 4. This is getting ridiculous now. Can't "we" get sick in the Winter, just once??
24 May 2005
Dr. Schell decides to make this a special event too. Bonus activity... let's inject some dye into Tracy's vein so that we can see her innards in technicolor. Do I like this guy or not?
I, of course, end up with a nurse that has just recently returned to work after a few years "off" (and for what reason I might ask?) And then, my question is answered by her deeds, not her words. This chick is literally DIGGING around in my arm with her needle to "catch" a vein. I explained to her, while she was starting to inject, that I have had chemo. and my veins are very hard to enter...perhaps a... YEOWWCH, smaller...hey I said "OWWWWWCHH" already. Now use a smaller friggin' needle or I am outta here.
She finally pulls out the needle. Because I am now in lala land. Smelling salts. Lights, camera, action, I'm Baaccckkk.
Pale and sweaty I say to her, calmly, though through gritted teeth, "Do ya think 'we' could try a smaller needle this time maybe????" I now burn her name and face on my DO NOT CALL list forever. Cathy, with head tilted says, "I think 'we' might have to try a tiny needle, but it will take a few seconds longer for the dye to enter your arm." Now I want to say "No Cath, where has your sense of adventure gone? Let's use the fat needle and take three times longer just trying to enter the vein so that 'we' can get the dye to go in faster-DUMBASS!" However, I am too exhausted to fight and I lie back in complete resignation of the fact the there is no 'we', SHE is the master and commander of this mission.
CT-Scan goes fine. Jon, the technician is friendly, clean, well-groomed. No problems. "Why do I have to wear a gown if the CT is just for my face?" I think to myself as I lie on the CT table. "Oh, and where do they keep the cat?" delerium has finally hit.
May 17 2005
We decide to go to a specialist- Dr. Schell, ENT, to have my nose and sinuses looked at. Of course, this cannot go without some uncomfortable procedure. Okay, let's see what will really make the patient claw for the ceiling??? Aha, stick a fiber optic tube up her nose and down her throat; That should do it nicely. And it should seem high tech so as to justify the OUTRAGEOUS bill I will send her insurance company. I AM a Specialist you know!
Well, "we" see (he sees and relays to us, his captive audience,) lots of infection, chronic, and... a SPOT on the larynx. OMG, OMG, OMG, Not the dreaded spot sighting, I've already had that and DO NOT like the sounds of it.
I burst into hysterics. DC calms me and reassures the doc that I am just reacting normally given my past history with spots. Of course, I want to break out into MacBeth and do the Lady MacBeth "Out Out Damned Spot" routine to break the tension. DC senses this and gives me the no-don't look.
CT-Scan is scheduled for the following Tuesday. I try not to worry when he tells his nurse, "Get her in ASAP."
May 11, 2005
We're home from the ER. Not bad, only a 3 hour wait. Thank-God I wasn't bleeding from every oraface!!
They took X-rays. They see something in the face. Must have a CT Scan to be sure.
Probably just sinus infection. Must be sure though.
I call the city-renowned team of Lipman, Schell, et.al. ENTs.
If you have never been, I must tell you that these guys were the bullied kids of our childhood and they are on a lifelong mission to hurt everyone in their path. I bet childbirth does not hurt as much as someone sticking a medical instrument up your nose and down your throat!! Holy Crimeny OUCH
May 10, 2005
I have been experiencing these killer headaches below my left eye.
I am very worried.
What if I have a brain tumor?? Yep, that's it. A brain tumor. I just know it-I am going to die from cancer this time. It is always there and it is just waitng to get me during a weak moment (when I begin to enjoy life and think that it has gone away for good.)
I finally tell DC "We must go to the ER (Yech)-- I just know that I have a brain tumor and I am going to die."
He chuckles at my mock panic, "OK. Let's go, there isn't anything else to do today."
We jump into the car with our ERWSK (SAY EARWHISK) ER Waiting Supply Kit:
Bottled water,pain pills, crossword puzzles, novel, magazines, unread mail, pencils/pens, notebook, chewing gum, insurance and ID cards, any recent medical info., list of meds. and allergies, sweatshirt, and any other creature comfort you may need in the next 12 hours!!
High (pain pills) Hoe its to the hospital we go!! Since we'll stay all night, let's hope they get this right, High hoe...
Terri(Schindler) Schiavo passed over today. I was cleaning my basement, listening to the radio, and heard the news minutes after she died- around 9:30 EST this morning.
Finally, the poor woman can regain her dignity in death.
I feel embarrassed for her because the media circus should never have occured. I feel embarressed that the US Government became involved in the whole issue. I feel embarrassed that this woman's final days leave people with the memories of what many have called a "vegetable."
But, I am angry too. Not one person addressed the reason that Terri was in this condition in the first place. Shame on the health care professionals for not using this opportunity to speak up regarding EATING DISORDERS and the possible tragic results that will occur if the condition is untreated.
This afternoon one of her former lawyers, interviewed by Shawn Hannity, adamantly insisted that Terri did not ever have an eating disorder. I sincerely hope that this is the truth. If not, her death was not in vain. We have learned the importance of a living will, the dedication of family, and the strength of faith. If so, it is awful to imagine that her case could have, once again, shed light on this condition. When the world lost the beautiful sound of Karen Carpenter's voice to Annorexia Nervosa, in 1982, her family choose to disclose her struggle with Annorexia. Most of the world had little to no knowledge regarding this condition. Eating disorders were not even in the news in those days. Little was even kown by the medical society regarding how to "cure" this disease. The list of famous "victims" has lenthened and many women have disclosed their own struggles about their battle with the terrible mind games this disorder brings onto its unassuming victims: Debbi Boone, Tracey Gold, Lady Dianna, etc.
Most often, the desire for control, perfection, and to fit the popular media standard of beauty, young women take those first innocent steps into the hell that is called annorexia, bulimia, annorexia/bulimia-eating disorders. What begins as an innocent concept takes hold of every waking moment of these women's lives and, ironically, eats away at their esteem and sense of self to the point where death is often an almost welcome end to a means, just to end the constant pressure that they place on themselves.
Terri, my prayers are with you- may you find peace now.
DC called road trip today. Off to New York we went to buy cheap smokes and gamble a little at the Casino in Silver Creek, NY, Indian Reservation. Broke even in gambling but saved a bunch on smokes. Made for a great day!
Hi! Here I am in my bald mode. A great style for hot/humid summer-not too great for cold/colder winter.
What I learned along the way: Wigs are FUN!
You'll see.... Think "Three Faces of Eve!!!"
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