HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

To all of you blessed to be mothers out there- I am wishing you the tidings of a Wonderful Day. My Mother could not have received a gift any better: Her one and only "Messiah" drove home from his Winter nest in FL just to be home with her for her big day. She is totally beside herself with joy. My hair, if I had any, could be engulfed in flames and she would be doting on him. Jealous? Eh, a little. Its the thing that she has been in my keep since November and I get nary a Thanks because she is so happy to have him around now. I assumed that we would do brunch at Oakwood. Wrong. They are going to dinner 6:00 PM (way past my bedtime). He is going to stop here early to drop off some Lit. on houses for sale in FL for me. Maybe he just wants to see me alone without her. Let's hope.

NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER FOR YOU

Dear God: The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, She will always be safe. Love you Girl!!!!

HOLA! FELIZ CINCO de MAYO!

Andele, arriba, its Cinco de Mayo!! We discussed having Mexican for dinner tonight. Would have to be take- out because I want good and good is labor intensive (to me). Any ideas out there for a menu? El Canelo is probably the best bet unless we do Torrero's. This will keep me busy all day! We also have a $50.00 certificate for TGIF and they do OK 'pseudo' tex/mex. I was so goofed up on my schedule that I realized too late that my website was behind for the Cinco de Mayo holiday. Rats. But, I still have Mother's Day for now. I'm doing a BOGO. Buy any item, get a free pair of earrings with the order. Do me a favor check out the ETSY link for some good deals. I am going to self grandize here. The wonderful thing about the earrings is that they are virtually weightless. One of my friends protested at lunch and lucky for me she did. She said that she "ruined" her earholes (sounds dirty) by wearing big heavy earrings and now she can't wear the bigger earrings because they pull on her poor, abused lobes. I said- "try a pair of these on"-its like you are not even wearing earrings. Sure enough, she loved them. No pull, no hurt, truly user-friendly fashion! OK enough about business. Pass on the link and you will make me a happy puppy! Tiene una grande Cinco de mayo y no bebe muchos cervecas comprende?

Facebook no,no,no

Hello Dahlings its already Monday again (Scream this part...) The hellish week of the 15 pills a day. It would be easier to give me a giant marshmallow and let me gnaw on it all day!! Like that dream about your pillow! I have CRAZY dreams-from the meds? Perhaps. Maybe I'm just crazy period. Yes, that's it. A few observations. NO OFFENSE to Asian, Eurasian, Kind of Asian... you get it. Last night the step-brat and I had a very heady and educated conversation regarding the definition of BAD Chinese food. We had bad Chinese last night. Dry, crusty, flavorless, takeout. Now we have narrowed it down to two in his new-driver range. GOLDEN WOK, CHAN-AN (3700 Peach). Perhaps Fortune Garden was having an off night, eh? One should not be able to screw up chow mien for goodness sakes. Right? I love that my boy is old enough, and resposible enough to drive now yippeee! He is really coming into his own that little shit. The other thing is Facebook. I was literally swallowed up into it a few weeks ago-OK month ago. Now, it is like some rampant, living thing all its own, and quite frankly, I don't really like it. Way too invasive for me. I'll talk when I wanna talk. That might be once a month if need be so. I have a Hell of alot more important things to do than send you a molotov cocktail to blow up Stevie the Snake got it? I got livin' to do here! For now, if you are trying to reach my Facebook... I say Face Off Teeny Bopper!! Yea.

Was I High??

Hey- Can someone out there stop me when I begin to blog slightly off the mark items? My tag on blog was just to illustrate that there are better times to come ahead- Including Spring. Many of my "snow bird" friends and family are coming home this week from Florida! It will be so great to connect with them. The potential buyer is coming for the third time to look at our house tomorrow afternoon. I hope I can stay awake and away from the house until they are done looking at it. The Florida house I love, now includes a Ford Explorer for $4,000. They must be desperate. I will try to link that picture to this blog so I can show family and friends. Pray for money and good circumstances for this gentleman. Have a good Sunday- Think a big, 'ole, fresh, Asparagus quiche is in order.

Good to be, good, Better

I just had a few afterthoughts... No baby yet, Good to come. I celebrated my Science Teacher Earth Day roots by setting up a 2 gallon fancy guppy tank, which I love, Celebrates life, Spring, Birth!! Better: 10 years ago I was at a teen conflict summit at MPS the day of Colombine. Thank-Goodness we have learned and recognized our mistakes after such a tragedy.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!!

Good Morning my wittel chickadees- I am now up to 15 pills a day now come on, This is CRAZY! My, poor, Pooor DC he is going nuts with me! With food, without food,together, separate, it is sooooo confusing. I have abosolutely no brain power left and he just says, with extreme angst: "TAKE THE PILLS". I say but won't those make me ill, don't those cause diarrhea, Don't those make me restless OMG I'm killin' myself with all this whining. I have fallen twice (and can't get up-- waaaa) in the past two days. In the garage on... Air? and a biggie in the living room , down on both knees, yesterday- again on who knows what. I wrote an email to a very capable Lord's Employee yesterday regarding my hopeful golf league. Of course (no pun) I missed the meeting I was writing about. What a mess! Now I know she thinks I'm a total nut case. For some reason, I cannot keep my dates straight lately and it is so maddening! One of the things I need/want to check is the couple having the baby and blogs here. I hope she is done and had a great go of it. I will check and respond. They are so lucky- I wish them all of the best. I am still learning the ins and outs of posting and blogging. I would like to post some pictures of us and that is one of my next goals. Nada too exciting my way- hang in all- I love you and hope all is well. Trixie the girl with brain cancer now.

Metastatic Breast Cancer: The Uglier Beast

Well now this has been a most depressing week and a half around here. I am scared shitless this week. I don't know what to do with my sorry butt. Last week, I was physically run down, weak, sick to my bones (literally). Too tired to care about anything but my next breath. This week seems that it is improving. I am getting physically stronger but now I'm a mental case over where my death clock is set. I was so stupid. In 2003, my initial breast cancer diagnosis, I figured, Bump-in-the-Road. Just get it over and done with. Well, that nasty cancer was going to show me. Now, I'm not really even sure where I do and don't have it. I know it is in my bones, spine, brain (EEEKKKKKKKKK). I know that I am on some nasty oral chemo. that makes me puke... alot. And I hurt and am tired EVERYWHERE.my poor mate he is subject to every little thing I feel and gripe about. I feel mean. I snap at the dog (there's a role-reversal), get impatient with my step son and my mother (chronological ages not equal but psychological... OMG.) She is 93 he is 17. I don't know about either of their sex drives but they sure can hit the agitate button with skill! One of my mom and dad's best friends died this past week. I went to the funeral home with her and had the shakes and felt nauseous. 1) a bit close to home for me: "Casket /pine box, cremation?Would DC wear one of those tiny urns or a ring with some of me in it? AW just toss me around Fox Run GC and be done with it. 2) she, who NEVER cries, was upset about judy. Well, she better get out of denial mode soon because I relly don't know what amount of time I'm looking at. To borrow Mom's phrase: Hey Doc, can I still buy ripe bananas??!! I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone but me. Hell, Im probably the only one that reads this and that's OK. Just let DC know that I had a blog.

New Jewelry Style

I have become enamored with a new metal technique called chain maille or chain mail. It is the basis for the suits of armor made from rings assembled to make mesh and various type of link bracelets, chains etc. Very fancy and quite intricate. I have decided to branch into this area after seeing some very cool designs. One can become quite involved in elaborate patterns and when I learn how to upload pictures and images I will do so to show some techniques. Right now Byzantine stitch or style is my favorite. Physically, I am feeling stronger everyday. I cannot imagine how sick I was a week ago. Now I hear that SARS was going around the area again. Please God let that one miss me! I am hoping to get all of scans and tests from Hamot together today to go to Roswell for a second opinion this week. I think that I was having a reaction to the Decadron and it was keeping me up all night. Last night was my first night to go to bed before morning! My step son was helping me the other night because I was so out of it. I didn't know what end was up! He is a good boy and Is just about ready to take his driver test. Dad and I paid for lessons because it is just too darn mard to work with him one on one. It was the best money spent yet! After polling other teen's parenents we knew we had to do it because it is the best way to accomplish an end to a means or vice versa! Pray for me that Roswell cannot do any more for me than we are doing here at the RCC. And that all is on course as it should be. I'll blog at cha come Friday or Saturday. Hey Pizza Wings- How's Eli's lookin?

The Three Dreaded Letters F-L-U

Saturday morning ( 3/14) I woke up in a complete haze. Thought I was dying (again). DC said you want to crawl out of your skin don't you? I could not agree more. I will spare all of us the details. I got home from Hamot today at 10:30AM. Feeling much better. When they diagnosed my issue as FLU "A" they couldn't get rid of me fast enough!! My Life Saver Doc mix up a big old bag of power vitamins and juiced me up with B12 shots and made me feel like a millionbucks. The good part, from what I could glean was that I broke through the Parade!! ANY pub crawlers PLEASE BE CAREFUL!! Respect the beast. WE HAIL Dr. JOE ALL HAIL!!

Energy Vampire (Scary-But Not Too Scary)

I am sure that some of you are very familiar with this personality type- You would know if you met them or know them.The best way I can describe the interaction is that they approach, plug into you, suck all your life force, feel regenerated, and leave. You, are left either exhausted or very frustrated. I even am now having a get sick at the sound of her voice reflex. We took my son to Prep the other morning, I got up early, showered, changed and was with them at the school when she started the phone calls. Two to my Husband Two to me. I had 3 voicemial from the previous day because I had slept most of the day. I turned on the voicemail. Yes, they were from her. That was it, The fact that I wasn't on my A game did not help but we started to laugh-at first-then ArGH. OK, go home and rest and try Walmart tomorrow. Her grand plan for Tuesday was that since she was off of work (nurse) that day she could just come over and hang out with me. Even if we did nothing. That's great but if you met her it is like CHAOS walks through the door when she lands. I believe her emotional vampire type is to merely suck energy to sustain this turmoil all around her. I have dealt with it when I was stronger, pretty well. Now, I can't get the edge and she is gaining fast. OK Here's the example. My MD. had to get me some nausea pills. He had them at the office. My husband was at the club having a couple well-deserved beers and when I called, I said run over and pick up the pills (its next door). Convenient-no problem. He got the pills, and came home. The next day our friend said that The Vampire struck. Told everyone I am with hospice, this is not good, If they want to see me, they better start making arrangements crying, carrying on. She is a nurse and should be able to help me, etc. I assure you, I am on the mend and back in the ring and she is-getting worse. I need help. Anybody willing to toss some good advice my way, perhaps an amulet or chakra, or crystal, I don't know, send me strength that will help alot. I decided to call her tonight at work because she was supposed to work 3:30PM-3:30AM. She was not there. So I left a vmail and told her I was sorry that I missed her. But I probably shouldn't have said that because I really wasn't. And I lied to her. Of course, she tends to put me in that feeling. I spoke with one of our mutual friends whom I haven't heard from in quite awhile. She said Vamp told her that Vamp and sister were staying here and doing watch and Vamp was getting burned out leaving here to work 3rd shift. I haven't seen Vamp or sister in a month. That scares me. She also told friend not to call because it will distrub me. I was mad at Vamp and told friend she has to ignore her. Friend does not really have intuition on people so she feels something and I'm trying, slowly, to help her see what it is. OK Thanks for letting me rant. Dinner tonight- Early Corned Beef. We love it so much we're doing it again on St. Patrick's Day but making reubens. Or Perhaps Kevin will make reubens for us. LOVE YOU OAKWOOD!!

I'MMMMMM BAAAAACK! (How cliche)

Well I have finally rebounded again. Wow, this one took a couple of days. And I was not happy about it at all. I'm tired of getting sick and tossing everything good I try to eat. I have to eat but my body says I don't have to retain what I eat. This is so frustrating. People have suggested ginger root. Does ANYONE know if this is an effective nausea treatment? I just might have to try it-it sounds good. I had a really great day today! My sister, who is a complete suburbanite, was afraid to go to Natalie's (Erie County Farms) alone. So she took mom with her! They waited over an hour to buy corned beef but the beef never came. Meanwhile, Nancy, a diehard Wegmann's shopper went nuts on all that gourmet crap she eats; organ meats (gag), head cheese(x2), cheeses, fruits, veggies, etc. She was as always amazed at what she saved on her purchase. Using Weggie pricing, she calculated approximately A $150.+ tab. Bottom line$70.00, nice take. However not so nice as to go again I don't think. Wegmanns has heat and cafe latte and fresh sushi and.... My mom goes for me and her every Wednesday that Nat. is open. It is a highpoint of her week. She gets there at like 8:30, grabs a cart, and is the first in line. ALWAYS. If you see a lady about 4 feet tall with a brown winter coat, say "Hey mom! Tracy said 'Hi'". She'll go nuts! Tomorrow, she has to go because the corned beef all had to be remarked and was not out early. PLus, Natalie opened late and that really gets the line brewin'. Actually, we love the veggies and fruits we can practically eat for free from there. I don't ever feel guilty about my Asparagus fetish at the prices she charges. Romaine and greens either. You could give mom your list and she would shop for you too-she is such a keeper! Total matriarch of the family. Her routine is firmly engrained in all of us and very, very little will sway her. When my Dad was passing a few years ago, we were sitting by his bed and she looked over at me and said this SOB better not goof up my card night. Of coursse, she loved him more than anything but, he had been sick a looong time and she needed the rest. We began to worry more about her for a while, he had the morphine. Plus, she never allowed him to worry about anything. She worries for all of us. Wow, did that digress. As you can see, I must be feeling better. My niece in CT emailed me today. I think I may have to fly up to see her version of Turkey Hill and go to the buyers district in NYC for deals on jewelry supplies for my art. It was a good day especially after my afternoon nap when I woke up with better vision and balance than I've had since Saturday. That is the part that scares me alot but it does clear and I hope it continues to do so. We never got to the polenta because I was too sick to make it and/or eat it. Tonight we ate the bread bowl beans and greens. Yummy. If you want the recipe, let me know. It very nutritious and is sinfully easy and filling. Perfect for this ugly day. Tonight I spoke with a good friend I've been missing like crazy. It was so nice to catch up with her and now were cyberlinked again so I am back in the loop on that front. You go and have yourself a Merry little Hump Day and I'll be talking at you because I love to talk and my man can only listen about 10 seconds before he is under and out of the radar.

Monday Manic? Not Here.

Eh I wasn't going to say a thing today and then Martha Stewart's damn dog up and died in a a propane explosion. Sheesh-ya think he'd know better than playing around. Probably was trying to do some craft on it and... BOOM! No. Seriously, that is awful. Martha may/not be alot of things but animal lover she is. I have to close for now, I have not felt good all day and radio (for radiation) brain is making this way to difficult right now. Later Peeps. I'm out. By the way, I've got pics to post later this week.

SUNDAY "GRAVY"

Clocks reset.... Check. Realizing its 7:00 instead of 6:00 AM...Check. Blog and Sunday Menu... I'm on it. First- Congratulations to the Sansone-Guthartz Families on Maria and Joshua's Wedding. Good Luck to them both. SUNDAY GRAVY Around here, DC, my husband, which you will meet and get to love like I do, Is the cook. We used to cook together and than the ugly kitchen witch came into my house and now-it is HIS Kitchen. We do NOTHING alike. Me flavor/him safe (Think low everything). One thing we do agree on is any and all of the Italian he can make. One of our very favorite, very authentic Italian cookbooks is the no-non-sense, depression cooking, of Henry Hill: The WISEGUY COOKBOOK-My Favorite Recipes from MY Life As A Goodfella to Cooking on the Run. Many of these recipes provide the backbone for good, hearty, inexpensive meals. And all make fantastic leftovers. Due to my new-found "Agita" and Prilosec routine, we decided to find some comfort food without reflux. Two great thoughts, neither of which I can get enough; Polenta and Risotto with Peas. Both are sinfully easy and can be had with without spice and herbs but never suffer. The Polenta is for me, the truer comfort food of the two because prior to being she-she,froo-froo, we ate it as kids pretending to be German Settlers. Was not called Polenta and did not warrant a huge price tag per serving. The recipe I use is from the Wiseguy Cookbook and it is fine. Basic Stovetop Polenta 6 C. water 1tsp. Salt1C. Course grain Corn Meal 1-1/2 T Margarine or butter1 1/2-1 tsp. Black Pepper 1/4 C. Fresh Ground Parmesan Cheese (optional) 1 T. Olive Oil (optional) (Note: If you happen to have a heavy bottom copper pot called a paiolo, this is great to use for this recipe.Thank-You Evyelyn DiLoreto for mine.) 3C. Water heavy bottom pot (paiolo), and 3 C. water to regular sauce pan. Add salt and corn meal to water in heavy pan and stir with wire whisk to start and then switch to wooden spoon as it thickens. Heat the water in the suacepan to boil and then keep at a simmer. Heat the Polenta mixture to high heat to boil, stirring constantly. Lower heat and simmer, occasionally, for 10 minutes. When the mixture starts to thicken, add another cup of the heated water pan and stir well. Stir constantly for 2 minutes. Cover the pot and let it cook until mixture thickens, approx. 10 min. Polenta should be simmering fast but not boiling. Remove lid, stir well for about 30 seconds. Re-cover and allow to cook another 10 minutes before stirring another 30 seconds. If mixture is too thick,add 1/2 C. heated waterfrom the suasepan, at a time, stirring weel, (You probably won't use all the heated water.) Repeat process once more (for a total of 30 minutes). The polenta should be pulling away from the sides of the panwhen you stir it. If it is not,Stir well and cook another 5-10 minutes. It should have a smooth, not grainy texture. If serving immediately, remove polenta from heat and stir in butter and pepper, then optional cheese. Stir well to combine and serve. If making firm polenta for later use (**MY plan), Cook an extra 5 minutes to thicken a bit more. Lightly oil a 1-1 1/2 Qt. casserole and spoon warm polenta into it, smoothing on top with a spatula or knife.Cool to room temperature, cover with plastic wrap or foil and refrigerate for about one hour. Polenta will get firm as it cools. That's it. I am not going to add the chees into the polenta this time because my step-son likes the slightly sweet flavor without it. I'll add mine on th side. Because I DO LOVE FRESH Grated Parmesan. MANGIA!

BAD NEWS

I cannot believe that I did actually blog in 2008. January, but still, fulfilled that resolution. As the months from January to May, Life: It was good. NO, it was perfect. Not a freaking care in the world beyond what time we were going to the gym, which we did- 3 to4 times a week. Yea! And then... ..here came the proverbial... "OTHER M/F SHOE." (NOT MALE/FEMALE HERE). A classic SNAFU as you shall see. I was at the RCC for my annual MAMO. LADIES get yours every year no matter what. My P.A. mentioned that it had been 5years since my last bone scan. So, we decided to schedule on at HAmot to make sure all was OK. I had had an accident in Las Vegas in October- hurt my back and neck and my legs, thighs were killing me. I kept telling the docs. that it was inner pain-inside my bones. AS it was. The scan came back looking like swiss cheese. The breast cancer had metastisized to the bone. Currently, it was in the right hip and the large legbones. We immediately began chemo. and hoped for the best.Ensuing scans were fantastic. Ntot only had the cells responded but, the hips/back was actually better. I became very sick in May and almost went on dialyasis. My system just rebelled. We made through that after 11 days at Hamot and I was back on the plan. Status quo until I began to have excruciating #10 pain in my back and leg again. Plus tired. Went for a CT and a then an MRI. Results; metatisis to spine and brain. I can tell you the medical shit which, bottom line means the same as English. This is not a favorable situation we are facing here folks. Egad. Any thoughts of brain stuff makes me queassy. I just finished a 10 day round of radiation on my head and back. I feel like someone microwaved my brains. I finally have clearer vision and my right face is less numb (decadron). I am taking anti-nausea pills, Prilosec, Morphine, Percocet and then the routine meds. I don't really know how or what I feel. Of course, you ask "How long?" and they don't want to say. Its a sentence and they don't do that. Par for the course= 2 years. Me probably more-because I can be piss and vinegar when I really put my mind to it. So, wow-this has been a wild month for us. My sleeping patterns are all turned around . Apparently, being on a drug like Decadron will do that. Plus, I can sleep when I'm dead right? Yes.That is right. And for now, I make hay whenever I can. My mother (Gertie, 92) does not know. She would freak and it would be very difficult for her to follow one more thing. Now, my current rant is that my hair, what there is, is falling out. But, I do have great wigs and that is fun- I will post pics. Hey, lemons=lemonade. MORAL for Saturday- Make you a priority at certain times. Especially for your health. Do not take advantage, as I did, for a long time. There is only one you and there are people that would miss you being around.